Culmination
by Zyra M
Summary: Filling in the missing moments from ROTJ so we find out why Han was so confused about his relationship with Leia and how it all finally comes together.  Picks up after my story "Realizations"
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: This story takes place immediately after my story "Realizations." You don't need to read that to understand what is going on here, but it is all basically one, continuous story. This will be a multi-chapter story that will carry us through ROTJ to see why Han was so confused at the end of the movie as to where he stood with Leia._**

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><p>"Chewie, we're coming up on Sullust," Lando said from Han's pilot's chair. "Why don't you go make sure that those two are awake?"<p>

Chewie roared an affirmative and headed toward Han's cabin. He was immensely grateful to have his cub back. First, because of his lifedebt, of course, but Han had become so much more than that to him over the years. He was his best friend. He didn't know what he'd do if he had lost him.

That, and he was getting tired of having to hang around with Lando all of the time. Not that he was a bad guy, he was just so… _Lando_.

He reached Han's cabin and leaned his head up near the door to see if he could hear anything. He wasn't really sure exactly what he was listening for, but when it came to Han Solo and a woman, you never could tell. Chewie almost laughed. Han had treated the princess very differently from any other woman who had ever been in his company. He could tell Han loved her long before the stubborn human was able to admit it himself.

Sensing that he wouldn't be intruding on anything, Chewie palmed the door open and found two sound asleep humans. He knew the princess had slept little while Han was missing; Chewie hadn't been able to sleep much himself. To see her there, so peacefully sleeping in Han's arms, it seemed unfair that they so quickly had to return to battle.

But life wasn't fair sometimes. He let out a gentle growl and saw Han's eyes flutter open. The princess remained still, her head resting on Han's arm. Han nodded, understanding that it was probably time to get up and Chewie left them alone in the room.

Han looked down at Leia, still asleep and pinning his arm to the pillow. He saw by the chrono that this latest "nap" had lasted six hours. They'd spent the better part of an entire day within an arm's reach of each other and they'd hardly even had a chance to talk.

Han knew their time was running out. They'd be at Sullust soon, back at war soon. There was no telling what might happen once they got there. He'd barely just been reunited with the woman he loved and there was a good chance they'd be separated fairly quickly once they made it back to the Alliance.

_If I have anything to say about it, I'm never leaving her side._

He watched her sleeping, a serene expression on her face that he rarely got to see. He hated to have to wake her up, knowing what she'd been through, all at his expense. But time was going to run out whether he liked it or not, and after six months without a shower, it was probably about time he got cleaned up. And he was going to need that arm that Leia was using as a pillow no matter how badly he just wanted to lie there with her forever.

Slowly, he tried to slide his arm out from under her cheek without disturbing her, but almost immediately her eyes opened and she sleepily looked up at him.

"Sorry," he said. "Chewie just came in. We're almost there, and I figured it's about time I took a shower."

Leia looked just about as unhappy as he did that they'd be forced to leave the sanctuary of the bed. "Do you feel all right? Do you need any – "

She seemed to cut herself off, and he could tell she was a little embarrassed to offer to help him shower. He really, really wanted to take her up on that. But once he sat up, the dizziness he'd been feeling didn't seem to be there and he knew he'd be okay to hold himself upright.

Besides, he didn't want to be in a situation like that with her unless he felt he was fully ready to take advantage of it. Given his current state, who knew which parts of his body wouldn't be working entirely properly just yet.

The thought of making love to Leia had crossed his mind roughly seven hundred times a day from almost the moment he'd met her. Well, maybe not on the Death Star when she'd spent most of her time insulting him, but not long after that. At first it was just like it always might be with any attractive woman he'd come across. Hell, what guy wouldn't want to picture that kind of thing with the latest pretty lady he'd seen? Eventually, those fantasies had evolved. At first it was the usual, messing around in his cabin simply because there was time and it was surely a fun way to pass the time. Later he thought that maybe if he got her into bed, because he had decided she probably hadn't experienced it before, which was likely one of the reasons she was so uptight, she might finally loosen up a little bit and stop yelling at everyone so much – mainly him.

Later still it turned into sort of a possessive thing, like, _dear gods don't let any of these grubby, over-eager pilots somehow talk her into bed and ruin the experience for her_. If anyone was going to thaw the Ice Princess, it was going to be a real man. And the only real man not old enough to be her father in this crazy crusade was him.

Finally, that had evolved even further to something close to what he felt now. He didn't just want to get her to bed because he was damn sure that if he could finally break down that protective shield she had so carefully, annoyingly built up, underneath it all was a real, sensual woman who he wanted to get to know. No, he wanted to make love to her because he actually loved her. He wanted to make love to her to show her how much he loved her, take away any of the pain she'd gone through, show her how fulfilling life could actually be if she just for once tried to live it. It was naïve to think that he could convey all of that to her just with a romp in the sack, but he knew that with her it would be so much more than that.

He wanted it to be perfect, though. And right now, he couldn't guarantee it. Time was running out. They were headed back to war. One of them or both of them could easily not make it out of this one alive. They had managed so far, but how much longer would either of their luck hold out?

"I think I'll manage," he said. "Why don't you try and get a little more sleep. Not sure how much of that we're gonna get when we get to the rendezvous.

She shut her eyes against the pillow and replied, "I think it'll be a lot harder to sleep without you here next to me, but I'll give it a shot."

He leaned down and kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you."

He saw her smile and that was all he needed. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of telling her that. He knew that he'd spend the rest of his life thinking it and saying it.

Once he made it into the shower, his skin tingled with the sensation of the water he'd been so long denied all those months. Leaning against the wall for support, he realized he felt weaker than he'd care to admit. Although his under-utilized stomach had been protesting, there was no denying the fact that he needed sustenance – bad.

He had already been informed that his first stop upon docking on_ Home One _would be the medical ward. He had put up a fight and said that he didn't need it because hey, he was Han Solo and that was what was expected of him. But he couldn't very well spend the rest of the war leaning on Leia or Chewie in order to attempt to remain standing upright.

Once out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and sank down to the floor to try and stop the dizziness running through his head. Head in hands, he thought to himself, _Gods, this is irritating. These could be the last hours I get to spend with her and I can't even stand up straight to look her in the eyes. _

He realized the water had been shut off for several minutes when Leia knocked at the door. "Han, are you all right in there?"

He took a deep breath and tried to sound convincing. "I'll just be another minute or two."

"Okay, just let me know if you need any help."

Gods, she probably thought he'd passed out. Suddenly he was the guy who couldn't be left alone in a room to shower by himself. This was all starting to get really annoying.

He got himself together and managed to stand up and go back into his cabin, finding a lovely princess sitting on the bed waiting for him. He smiled at her as he leaned up against the doorway, then became very aware of the fact that he was only wearing a towel. But Leia was doing a bad job of trying to hide the fact that she was eying him appreciatively, and suddenly he didn't mind so much.

"You should get dressed. Chewie said we'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Are you sure you want me to get dressed?" He said, suddenly finding the voice of that old, teasing rogue that somehow took longer to thaw after his body had been unfrozen.

"Well, I wouldn't mind, but there are going to be a lot of high-ranking military officials there and we're trying to improve their impression of you, not ruin it forever."

"What, you think I make a bad impression? I'm shocked."

"Yeah, well, you know that you aren't the kind of guy people tend to love right away."

"Nah, that would make things too easy. I prefer to make people think I'm worthless. That way, once they finally get to know me and see how great I am, it makes me seem that much better."

The teasing was fun and he had missed it. But all of this talk about military officials left him wondering. "Sweetheart, how did you get them to let you come after me? They couldn't have wanted to let you go off on some personal mission with so much else going on."

She seemed taken aback by the question, and she looked at her feet as she appeared to contemplate an answer. "It wasn't easy. They didn't like the idea of us running off to find just one person."

"So what did it, then? Was it because I owe some of the Rogues money from those late-night Sabacc games on Hoth?"

Leia looked at him and laughed, and he noted that he wished that she'd do that more often. He loved the sound of that laugh. "Nothing, really. I just told them that I was going to find you, and if they wanted to strip me of my rank or tell me never to come back, then that was their problem. But I wasn't going to lose you. I couldn't."

Gods, that woman was incredible. Her big, brown eyes looked at him longingly, and he wished more than anything that they could spend another two days locked right there in his cabin with her, but the proximity alarm sounded and broke the trance they were in, and Han didn't get a chance to tell her how much he appreciated what she'd done for him. All he had time for was to sit next to her, clasp her hands and lean in for the gentlest of kisses before he pulled back and said in his most sincere tone, "Thank you."

She smiled again. "No, thank you."

"For what?"

"For being alive when I found you. For loving me back."

"Leia, I –"

He was cut off by the sound of an annoyed Wookiee pounding on the door. [Time's up, cub! You two need to get out here!]

Han had so much left to say, but he didn't have the words to say it. Later, there had to be more time.

Leia stood up and walked towards the door. "I'll go tell him you'll be right there. And as much as I hate to say it," she said as her eyes scanned the length of his body and she gave him a little smirk, "you really should put some clothes on."

"Just tell me that someday there'll be more time for us to be alone."

"I promise that if the opportunity arises, we will make the time."

He smiled as he watched her go, then moved to put on some clean clothes.


	2. Chapter 2

Their arrival on Sullust had been met with one of Han's least favorite things: more medical attention. He wanted to protest. He wanted to defy everyone and simply return to fighting. But every time he raised himself up from a seated position he was forced to steady himself against anything he could reach and he wasn't going to do anyone any good if he passed out just by getting up out of a chair. Besides that, the look in Leia's eyes nearly pleaded for him to just take care of himself and make sure that he'd be all right. And suddenly he found himself feeling like he needed to be well not for himself, but for her.

At least he had managed to make it a quick visit. They had brought his hydration levels back to normal, which in turn seemed to have eased the queasiness in his stomach and allowed him to eat something a little more substantial. His blood pressure had also come back up from incredibly low levels and he was told that his body's ability to regulate temperature should have returned. They had asked to observe him for one more night but he refused, knowing that the last thing he wanted right now was to spend the night alone in a med ward bed.

He had just finished putting on his own clothes when he heard a knock at the door, delighted to find Leia on the other side. "Hey," he said with a grin on his face.

She smiled back at him. "Hey." She moved to sit next to him on the bed and took his hand. It was still such a novelty to have her so willingly reach out to touch him. Just another reason he had tried so hard to maintain his sanity in the carbonite, so he could enjoy moments like these. "Feeling better?"

"Now that you're here."

She leaned in and kissed him gently, and he could taste something sweet on her lips. "Sweetheart, whatever you've been eating tastes like it was a lot better than what I've been eating."

She smiled back at him again. He could tell just by looking at her that she probably hadn't eaten much since he'd been gone. He hated to know that he'd put her through that. "Somebody brought back some sweet pastries while out on a supply run. Supposed to boost troop morale before we go into this big battle."

"Hmph. They wanna boost troop morale they should get everyone some alcohol."

"Well, they thought of that, too, but also thought it would be a better idea not to inebriate the entire Rebel Alliance before what could be the biggest battle we've faced since Yavin."

Han grimaced. Seemed he had jumped right back into the middle of things without a second to catch his breath. They'd been lucky up until now. But how many more of these battles could they fight before one of them was killed? He couldn't imagine being reunited with Leia with no reason to leave her again only to have her so cruelly taken away. They might not have much time left…

"Luke should be coming back very soon," she said, completely interrupting his thoughts.

Han had been glad to see the kid, too. Although now it seemed like 'kid' wasn't such an appropriate nickname anymore. Not that that was going to stop him from calling him that. "You worried about him?" Han suddenly felt like he didn't even know Luke anymore.

Leia let out a sigh, and he felt like there was something she wasn't telling him. "Yes. I know he can take care of himself, but he's been through a lot since you've been gone."

He was almost afraid to ask what that meant, exactly. He could see the worry in her eyes once again, and he knew that this time it wasn't for him, it was for Luke. Was there a chance something had happened between those two while he was gone?

Leia's arms wrapped around him and she leaned in and rested her head against his chest. Any thoughts he'd been having disappeared from his mind as his hands slid up her back and he pulled her close. After having her rarely leave his side since he'd been rescued, he wasn't sure he could stand the thought of going back to a life without her.

He wanted to ask her if there was time to talk, but not long after she'd settled warmly into his embrace he heard her commlink going off and her presence was requested to go over a few things before the briefing. She kissed him on the forehead, promised to see him later and left him alone again.

All he wanted was one night before they had to get thrown back into battle. He wanted the one night he'd been dreaming about for years, where he could show her how much he loved her. Give her something that could never be taken away from her.

Was that what she even wanted anymore? He was growing increasingly confused about what he meant to her. He didn't doubt that she held some affection for him, or she wouldn't have risked so much to come find him. Was she simply trying to be nice to him before gently telling him that she would be moving on with her life without him?

He had a hundred questions but he couldn't seem to find the voice to ask them. Nor could he find the time. He thought about all of his years with the Rebellion and all of those times she'd all but pleaded with him to officially join. He had always valued his independence above almost everything else. That and the freedom of being able to come and go as he pleased had suited him well.

It startled him to realize that freedom was no longer what he desired. If being so independent meant that he had to go back to flying all over the galaxy without Leia then he didn't want it. He felt his heart constricting in his chest at the thought of ever having to fly off and never see her again. He still couldn't be sure if she would want him in return, but he felt as though he needed to show her how much he wanted to be a part of things and to give something back to her and to those who had allowed her to come and get him.

He heard Chewie's growl from the doorway and looked to see his oldest friend looking down on him, asking him if he was ready to head back toward the bridge.

Looking up, Han simply replied, "Tell General Madine I need to talk to him."


	3. Chapter 3

She wasn't sure she'd heard him right at first. She turned to look at him in disbelief as Chewbacca offered to join his expedition. _General_ Han Solo? The initial shock transformed quickly into pride, and then the realization that there was no way she'd let him go on that mission without her.

If they hadn't been in the middle of the briefing, she would've thrown her arms around him and kissed him. "General," she said, putting a hand on his arm, "count me in." He returned her smile in relief before she heard another familiar voice.

"I'm with you, too."

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><p>It seemed to take no time at all before they had boarded the shuttle to Endor. Han already seemed to have quickly and easily slid into his new leadership role. Not that she was surprised. She'd always known him to be a leader, no matter how much he tried not to belong. He had a way of attracting the attention of a room and making people listen to him without really trying. She used to hate that about him, but now it was just one of the many things she admired him for.<p>

As she got used to having him back again she had to settle for the occasional touch on his shoulder or a smile rather than the affection she wished she had the time and privacy to share with him. It seemed that since she'd rescued him they hadn't had a chance to be alone together, but she still relished his presence, his warmth and the way he could make her almost forget everything else that was going on.

While the time he'd been taken away from her had given her the opportunity to realize just how much she needed him, having him back had only affirmed her feelings. She felt her skin tingle as she thought back to when they were lying together in his bunk and he'd finally said that he loved her. The words continued to echo in her mind and warm her heart. Always so preoccupied with her duties, she hadn't entertained the real possibility of finding someone to share her life with. She no longer simply wanted to win the war just for the good of the Alliance, but so that she'd have a future to share with Han. She hoped that at some point she'd get the chance to tell him.

As she saw him staring off at his beloved ship and placed a hand on his shoulder to knock him out of his trance, she couldn't help but smile when she got to use his new title again. "Come on, General. Let's move."

The trip went by quicker than she expected. And after a long, tense moment as they transmitted their code to get to Endor, they had finally landed and their small team of Rebels moved to disembark. Leia watched Luke and Chewie exit the cockpit and moved to walk out behind them, but felt a strong hand on her arm, pulling her to a stop.

"Wait a second," Han said, gently urging her to turn around. "You be careful out there, huh?"

His concern for her well being was something she'd become accustomed to since long before he decided that arguing with her wasn't as much fun as kissing her. Giving him a reassuring smile, she replied, "I will if you will."

He offered her a look that told her that wasn't really the answer he was looking for, but there was no time to argue. So she leaned in and gave him a quick kiss before going to join the others.

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><p>Han was never any good at sitting still. When Luke and Leia had disappeared on the speeder bikes and he'd been left behind with the squad he had no choice but to wait or risk them not being able to find each other. There was a lump in his throat that hadn't waned since he saw her speed off. It only got worse when Luke returned with no sign of Leia.<p>

To say he was immensely relieved to find out she was safe and unharmed would've been an understatement. When he finally saw her again, just before he'd been freed from being cooked for dinner, he hadn't been able to stop himself from sweeping her up into his arms and kissing her, and she seemed just as happy to let him. And even later when they listened intently to Threepio's telling of the adventures they'd shared, he felt his heart jump when she hooked her arm to his and leaned against his shoulder.

He tried to act as though that kind of thing happened all the time, but something about Leia sitting there next to him as they listened to the events they'd been through together made him remember how long he'd been waiting to share even this simple closeness with her as she seemed just as content to be with him.

An enthusiastic Ewok hug distracted him just enough for Leia to slip away from his side, and he took a few minutes to use Threepio to try and work out some logistics for the mission and get their weapons back. With that taken care of, he wandered out of the hut to find Leia looking distraught and Luke disappearing in the distance.

She asked him to hold her, and that's all he did. It was something she'd never said to him before, and something he'd never expected to dislike being asked. But at the moment, all he knew was that she and Luke had talked about something and he'd come out to find her upset enough to simply seek comfort in his arms. Was it because she wanted him or was it just because Luke had left and couldn't now offer the same support? He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

He loved this woman with every cell in his body, but right now all she was doing was confusing him. Not to mention scaring him. He'd never seen her so openly vulnerable in the entire time he'd known her, not even when she lost everything she'd ever known. Was it because she was finally able to let her guard down in front of him or was it because whatever had happened between her and Luke was that awful?

He wanted to be able to give her more, to be able to take the tears away and reassure her of his love, but he didn't know if that was what she wanted right now. Maybe all she really needed was a warm body. Hells, Chewie probably could've done just as much good in the situation.

Without having a chance to think anymore, her head pulled away from his chest and she looked up at him, her brown eyes reddened and heavy with exhaustion, though there were no tears. "We don't have much time. We should try and sleep."

How was it that she could so quickly transform back into Rebel Alliance leader? Part of him wanted to yell and demand to know what was wrong with her and if it had anything to do with Luke and why it was that she felt she couldn't tell him. But he couldn't. She looked more physically and emotionally drained than he'd ever seen her and he couldn't be the cause of making things worse, even if it meant that the tightening in his chest would not be eased.

He swallowed any words that had attempted to form in his throat, took her hand in his and led her in silence to the Ewok hut they had been given to spend the night in. Chewie was already sprawled out to one side and breathing deeply. The floor was lined with soft cushions and Han motioned for Leia to lie down first, which she did, eagerly. Unsure of what she wanted from him now, he simply stood there motionless. Her eyes had been closed when she first lay down, but she finally opened them and looked up at him.

"Aren't you going to sleep?"

He stared in silence, still wondering what in the universe was going on with this woman. After a few moments, he replied, "Yeah, I just…" he trailed off, unable to formulate a suitable lie to complete the sentence.

She waited for him to continue, then realized he wasn't going to. "Stay with me, Han. Please."

He released a breath as his heart nearly broke. She was asking him out of sadness and he couldn't stand to see her like that. Slipping off his boots, he lay down against the surprisingly soft cushions next to her as she immediately draped an arm over him and rested her head on his chest. "Just please, stay with me," she repeated as her eyes shut and he felt her breathing deeply against him.

He kissed the top of her head and held her close, somehow still feeling incredibly alone. Why wouldn't she just talk to him? Was she afraid to tell him the truth? That Luke was what she really wanted? Maybe somehow she knew that they'd all die tomorrow and she couldn't bear to tell him before they were all killed. He'd spent so much of his life feeling invincible, both from physical harm and emotional scarring. Nobody had yet managed to kill him with a blaster or a well-aimed crossbow, and so far no woman had managed to break his heart.

Tomorrow would be here all too soon and he might someday get the answers to the questions plaguing him or he might simply wind up dead. Unable to think of anything else to do, he simply leaned down and whispered in Leia's ear, "No matter what happens, I want you to know that I love you. I've loved you from almost the minute I saw you."

He glanced over at the large ball of fur that was a sleeping Wookiee just to make sure he hadn't heard, and then felt Leia's arms gently squeeze about him. Had she heard him? Was she simply asleep? If this was the last night he ever got to spend with her, he never wanted it to end. And if the answers weren't the ones he was looking for, maybe he was better off never knowing.

As he lay there with the slight weight of Leia's body against his, he wondered what it might be like to have her lying in his arms every night. He wanted to tell her everything he was feeling, but he couldn't stand the idea that she might not feel the same way. For now, he decided just to savor the moment and enjoy holding her while she slept. If that was all he'd ever get, he'd take it.

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><p>Leia awakened and felt her head slightly rising and falling in rhythm. Hearing a heartbeat she sensed wasn't her own, she slowly opened her eyes and found her cheek pressed up against Han's chest. The Corellian was still sound asleep and for a moment the warmth and security she felt lying in his arms almost overshadowed the horrible truth she'd found out the night before.<p>

The memory of her conversation with Luke came flooding back. Luke, her brother. That revelation should've offered her some sense of comfort as she had never had a sibling and probably couldn't have asked for a better one. But that news came with a terrible revelation: Darth Vader was their father. _Her _father. The man who had inflicted so much pain and suffering on the galaxy, been responsible for killing millions of beings, destroying her adoptive home planet and killing the only family she'd ever known, and brutally torturing and freezing in carbonite the man whose body she was resting against now.

How could Han possibly love her if she was Darth Vader's daughter? Hearing that Luke was her brother would surely relieve Han as she always knew the two men felt at times like they were battling for her affections. It was never any real contest, though she did enjoy seeing the twinges of jealousy in Han's eyes whenever she and Luke… oh, gods! She'd kissed him. In the med bay. She knew at the time it didn't quite feel right, but how could she have possibly known _that _was the reason? Gods, if she ever got the chance to tell Han the truth he was going to have a field day teasing her about that one.

_If _she told him. Part of her wanted to wake him and tell him everything right then. But something stopped her. They had a mission to complete and the last thing she needed to do was distract him. And she knew she couldn't bear to see the look in his eyes if she told him the truth about who her father was. So she'd do what she usually did. She'd go out and do her job.

Slowly sitting up and away from Han's warm, sleeping form, she moved over to the corner of the hut where her uniform had been neatly folded. She slipped the Ewok dress off over her head and dressed quickly, managing to get her second boot on before she saw Han sit up and look over at her through sleepy eyes. She knew he was confused. She knew she should tell him why she had been so upset the night before. But now was not the time to start spilling all of her emotional secrets.

"It's almost time to go, Han."

She could tell by the way he was looking at her that he wanted her to say more, but she remained silent. Finally glancing at the chrono on his wrist, he replied, "Yeah. I'll wake Chewie and see you out there."

Unable to just leave it at that, she walked over, crouched down, pressed her hand against one cheek and gently kissed the other before leaving the hut without another word.


	4. Chapter 4

The ground battle had been a blur but finally they had a chance to catch their breath. Sitting in the ferns while wrapping Leia's blaster wound, Han did his best to focus his attention on what he was doing. He knew that he and his crew had accomplished their part of the mission, and now all they could do was wait and see if everyone else made it out all right.

He decided he loved Leia even more after she'd pulled her blaster on the stormtrooper who'd cornered them in front of the shield generator after she was shot. He wasn't quite sure what prompted him to tell her he loved her again just before she shot their assailant, but the smile she'd given him and her response indicating that "I know" was already becoming a recurring line between them made him glad he did.

Just as he finished wrapping her arm in silence, he heard the cheers erupting around them and turned to see the massive explosion overhead that had once been the second Death Star. They'd done it. They'd won. But that didn't mean there wasn't anything left to worry about…

He turned to see Leia looking up at the sky past him, and he knew who she was thinking about. "I'm sure Luke wasn't on that thing when it blew." His reassurance was for himself as much as her. Regardless of what happened next, Luke also happened to be one of his best friends.

She got a dreamy sort of look as she gazed anywhere but at him. "He wasn't. I can feel it."

Seeing her relief and apparent certainty that Luke was alive, he could no longer leave his questions unanswered. "You love him." Leia turned to look at him, and he wondered if it would be difficult for her to admit the truth. So he tried to make it easy. "Don't you." He said it as a statement instead of a question.

"Yes," she said, shrugging her shoulders, as though it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

He wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with this woman, but he couldn't bear it if he knew she loved someone else. He didn't take more than a moment to get the next words out, knowing that it might be the most difficult thing he'd ever had to say. "All right, I understand. Fine." He looked at the ground, summoning the courage to say the rest. "When he comes back, I won't get in the way." _I knew it was too good to be true. I'm just a lowlife-_

She smiled and shook her head as though hearing some joke he wasn't in on. While he knew she loved Luke, he'd at least hoped it wouldn't be this easy for her to accept his offer. "It's not like that at all."

She leaned in closer and placed a hand on his shoulder, but he took no comfort in it because he was far too confused as to what in the hells she was smiling at. Then, she spoke softly, "He's my brother."

Unable to formulate a response, he turned his head and tried to process the information. Was that possible? Without getting another second to think, her hand against his cheek gently turned his face toward hers and she pulled him into a kiss, assuring him that he really was the one she wanted.

But her brother? Really? He pulled away to look at her smiling back at him, exhaling in relief when he realized what it all meant. Any doubts he'd had recently on her feelings for him evaporated into the Endor evening, and he kissed her once more, soundly, unable to contain the giant grin plastered across his face. It seemed that everything was going to be all right.

* * *

><p>Sometime later, it occurred to her that the music had stopped. Leia Organa was seated comfortably in the Ewok village, lost in thought as the victory party slowly dissipated. This was what they had been fighting to achieve for years now, and suddenly it was over. She suspected that there would still be plenty of work to do, but with the loss of both the Emperor and Vader to lead them, she believed they'd no longer be forced into hiding.<p>

Perhaps it would finally offer her the opportunity to find a permanent home for the first time since the destruction of Alderaan. She winced at the memory. At the time she considered it to be the worst day of her life. While she still felt that way to a certain degree, it had also eventually proven to be one of the best days of her life, for it was the day that she had met Luke and Han.

Luke, the naïve farmboy dressed as a stormtrooper who'd rescued her from her cell. Luke, the man who turned out to be her brother. After losing the only family she'd ever known, she found out she had a new one from almost the moment she'd lost her home planet.

She wasn't sure if it was more unlikely that she'd run into her long-lost brother in such a manner or if she'd also somehow fallen in love with Han Solo. She glanced across the fire and saw him sharing a conversation with Lando and Wedge. He had a contented smile on his face that hadn't waned since she'd told him he no longer had to worry about battling Luke for her affections.

Well, maybe it had waned for about a minute. Not long after she'd told him about Luke she decided to explain to him about her parentage. She had dreaded informing him of that new piece of information, and had briefly worried that it would be enough for him to no longer want anything to do with her. She should have known better.

He'd been shocked by the news, but that quickly transformed into concern for her dealing with it. He'd drawn her into a warm, protective embrace and she buried her face in his chest and he told her that having Darth Vader as a father did nothing to change the way he felt about her. He didn't even know who his parents were, so for all he knew his parentage might be worse than hers. Later, when it seemed safe to insert a bit of humor, he'd joked that it seemed that just about the only thing either of them could thank their parents for was their good looks.

That had caused her to laugh, and had also given her just one more addition on the growing list of reasons she loved him.

She saw Wedge and Lando say their goodbyes, leaving Han sitting alone. Almost as though he had sensed her watching him from across the fire, he glanced up to her and she could see the flames dancing in his eyes as he smiled back at her. Not needing any more of an invitation, she sauntered over to him and sat down sideways in his lap, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

As his arms slipped around her waist he said, "Mmmm…. I could get used to this."

"So could I," she replied with a sigh as she rested her head against his shoulder.

They sat in silence and Leia thought about how wonderful it felt to have cast all doubts aside between her and Han. She had no idea what the future might hold now that the battle was won. But she did know that she wanted it to include Han.

"Do you ever think about the future, Han?"

They had been sitting in silence, watching the stars above for several minutes, and the question had caught him off-guard. "You know, I never used to. Not really beyond where my next paycheck was coming from, anyway."

"And why is that?"

"I don't know. I guess I just never saw myself as having much of a future, so why bother thinking about it? I was just trying to earn a living and make it through my existence, I suppose."

She turned in his arms so she could see his face. "What about now?"

He smiled down at her and spoke softly. "I think there's a lot more worth thinking about."

When he didn't continue on his own, she had to press him. "So what do you think about now?"

"I think a lot about how I'm going to keep you from finding someone who's actually good enough for you."

She reached her arm up and caressed his cheek. "Not a chance, Han. But does that mean that you see us together in the future?"

"Sweetheart, the only way I've got a future is if it's spending the rest of my life with you."

"That's all I needed to hear."

She tilted her head up to him and they kissed slowly, savoring the moment. In the entire span of what had become a romantic relationship, they hadn't had much opportunity to kiss without being interrupted. Leia found herself almost looking over her shoulder in anticipation of something that might stop them.

Remembering where they were, Leia leaned back before things got too heated in front of onlookers, even if there weren't many of them left. She pressed her forehead against his and exhaled a long breath, partially in frustration that she felt uncomfortable continuing the affectionate display in public for fear of just how far she might go.

Anticipating her concerns, Han asked quietly, "You wanna get outta here?"

She smiled and nodded, and he grinned back and helped her to her feet before standing and taking her hand. "The _Falcon _isn't far. Lando said he kept her warm for us."

"That sounds good. All I'm looking for is somewhere to sleep that was meant for humans," she said, referring to their Ewok accommodations from the night before. She wasn't entirely sure that sleep was the most important thing to her at that moment. But heading back to the _Falcon _seemed like a good idea either way.

Before heading back, Han had checked and found that Chewie would make himself at home in the Ewok village as sleeping amongst the trees reminded him of home. They walked in silence, absorbing the enormity of the day and what had transpired. Whatever had already transpired between them, she suspected that there was far more to look forward to.


	5. Chapter 5

Han led Leia up the gangway, his arm around her waist. Once onboard, Han immediately moved to close and secure the ship and then told her, "I'm going to go check on a few things. I'll just be a few minutes."

Leia made her way through the lounge and replied, "All right, I'm going to go use the 'fresher and then I really just need to lie down."

"Okay, I won't be long," he said as he watched her disappear down the corridor.

Han did a quick walk-through just to make sure there were no issues that Lando had failed to mention but found for the first time in his life that he couldn't concentrate on his ship and any anxiousness he was feeling had nothing to do with whether or not he'd be left doing a bunch of major repairs on his first love.

Leia, his princess, had just wandered back to his cabin to wait for him. It was the first instance in which they'd be left alone without the fear of an impending battle or the knowledge that in a few hours they'd be torn apart again. He knew what he hoped the night would bring, but he also knew that no matter what happened there would be a a lifetime of nights together ahead of them. Considering the events of the day and the past few months, he fully expected to find a sleeping princess in his bed, and that was all right with him. He ached to show her how much he loved her, but for the first time since he'd known her they finally had time on their hands, and there would be plenty of opportunity ahead of them for everything he'd had in mind.

Doing one last check of the gauges in the cockpit, Han smiled in contentment and headed back to find the woman who had somehow managed to make his stomach flutter just thinking about her and the fact that he was sure now that she loved him, and only him.

* * *

><p>Returning to Han's cabin, Leia looked around the room and realized that at the moment it was the closest thing to home she had. Even more amazing was that she didn't consider that to be a bad thing. It was where she could always find Han; and more and more she was coming to realize that he was all she really needed. She was simply standing and looking at one of his jackets crumpled up on the floor when she heard him enter.<p>

"Well, she's a little banged up, but you know how much I love to work on her anyway." She turned to look at him, suddenly drawn to him almost uncontrollably. "I was worried you'd be asleep already by the time I came back."

She walked over to him, reaching up to take his face in her hands and pull him down into a long, deep kiss. She opened her mouth and he eagerly accepted her tongue against his, his hands pulling her strongly against himself. Her fingers wound up into his soft, brown hair and she finally felt a need to come up for air.

Looking at the obviously-surprised Corellian, she had to suppress a laugh. "What was that for?" he asked.

Shrugging, she answered, "I didn't know I needed a reason."

"No, I guess you don't."

"Did you really mean it when you said you wouldn't get in the way if I loved Luke?"

He exhaled a breath. "Sweetheart, I think it would nearly kill me if I ever had to let you go. But if that was something that you wanted, I wasn't gonna try and stop you. You lost so much already. I just want you to be happy."

"You make me happy, Han. There is no other man in the universe I could possibly want more. I love you."

He shook his head in disbelief for a moment and then said in his deep, almost-whispering voice, "I love you so much, Leia."

He leaned down and kissed her with all of the emotion and pent up desire she could expect from him, and she responded with equal fervor. While the prospect of this kind of need had once frightened her, she suddenly found that the idea of giving herself so freely to this man in front of her was the easiest decision she'd ever have to make.

The kisses were more passionate than any they'd ever shared, and she felt intoxicated by the feel of his full lips against hers, tender and wanton at the same time. His strong hands moved along her back and she wanted him to pull her against him and take her to a place she'd never been. She needed him in a way she'd never needed anyone, and she fought to think of how she could convey it.

As his lips moved from her mouth to nibble at her ear, she leaned in and whispered, "I want you."

For a moment he thought he felt his heart stop beating as he wondered if those three simple words meant what he hoped they did. When he leaned back to look at her he saw apprehension in her face that he sensed had more to do with wondering if he wanted the same thing than anything else. They'd never been anywhere close to this point in their relationship and while he'd dreamed about this moment for as long as he could remember, he had to ask, "Are you sure?"

Without hesitating, she slowly nodded and then got a mischievous look on her face as her lips turned up at the corners. "If it's all right with you, that is."

He smiled and threw his head back in disbelief, looking up at the ceiling before his eyes came back to rest on hers. "Sweetheart, I've never wanted anyone more than I want you. I love you," he said before leaning in and nibbling at her ear once again, pulling her body flush against his.

"I know," she replied in a husky whisper against his ear.

Holding her more tightly, suddenly desperate to be as close to her as possible, he managed to slowly back her up against the bunk before gently lowering her down and bringing his body to rest lightly above hers, never ceasing the movements of his lips against her exposed skin. He felt her small hands tugging his vest down off his shoulders, down his arms and onto the floor. He momentarily thought he'd died because surely this couldn't possibly be happening.

Leia had occupied the majority of his thoughts for the better part of three years, and he'd wondered if she had spent any of that time thinking of him in the same way. He was finding it difficult to contain the desperate need for her that had been growing for what felt like an eternity, knowing that he wanted the night to last forever.

He kissed her slowly and deliberately, without all of the anxiousness she might have expected. His hand came to find the string that held closed the front of her Ewok dress and she felt his fingers slowly untie it before his mouth moved down her neck to caress the newly exposed skin. She wanted him, without a doubt, not feeling quite as nervous as she had anticipated. But she felt as though he had a right to know. "Han?" she said quietly, questioningly.

"Yes?" he responded between kisses, his deep voice rumbling against her sternum.

She felt a slight hint of embarrassment at the admission she was going to have to make, but she knew she had to tell him. "I – " she stammered, swallowing hard and trying to ignore the fires he was igniting throughout her entire body already. "I've never…"

She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence as she felt his lips make their way back up her neck. He leaned back a little to look at her, his beautiful eyes telling her all she needed to know. "It's okay, sweetheart," he said, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. "I guess I kinda figured, but…" he smiled at her and she smiled back, feeling only slightly less embarrassed.

"Was it that obvious?"

He shook his head. "We'll take it slow, don't worry. And I want you to know that this is only the beginning."

She pulled his head down to hers and kissed him more insistently, wanting to be as close to Han as possible. Her entire universe narrowed down to the point where all she was aware of was his presence and warmth. She felt his hand slide up and cup her breast through the fabric of the dress, amazed at the electricity it jolted through her.

She found her body moving of its own accord, struggling to move against him as he hovered over her. The hands that had been running down his back moved down to pull his shirt from the waist of his trousers, reaching underneath to slide against the smooth, warm skin of his back. She felt his hips start slowly grinding against her leg and the unmistakable hardness of his desire still contained. It was thrilling and a bit scary at the same time, but only seemed to intensify her want for him.

She tugged at his shirt until he finally leaned back enough for her to help pull it off over his head, forgoing the annoyance of trying to work each individual button before he collapsed on top of her once again, his mouth still worrying at the bit of exposed skin at her chest. The Ewok dress had obviously not been made for swift removal and Leia became frustrated that his mouth was being blocked from exploring further.

She leaned forward and slowly pushed him back so he was sitting on his knees, keeping her eyes on his so that he knew that she was not asking him to stop. He took the opportunity to kick his boots aside while she moved up to her knees, reaching down and slowly slipping the dress up and over her head.

Barely any less-clothed than she'd been before, she was still wearing the decidedly un-sexy plain white Alliance-issue white cotton boxer underwear along with the thermal long-sleeved shirt she'd had on under the dress. She glanced down at herself and then back at Han with an apologetic look.

"This probably isn't exactly what you pictured," she teased.

Without a word he leaned in as they knelt before each other, tucking his fingers under the bottom of the shirt and helping her raise it up and over her head, leaving her in her underwear and a very simple, white bra. She felt the rough skin of his hands against her sides as he pulled her close and pressed her body against his, the coarse hairs on his chest and hard muscle of his abdomen sending another wave of electricity through her.

His lips found the pulse at the base of her neck again and she heard his deep voice rumble against her, "Trust me, it's so much better than anything I'd pictured."

She felt the clasp at her back come undone and the slight twinge of nervousness that accompanied the thought of baring herself to him. But without hesitation she leaned back just enough to let the straps slide off her arms, exposing her breasts as she watched his eyes move away from her face. She felt her breath catch in her throat as she saw his appreciative glare. His eyes came back up to meet hers and the intensity of his gaze made her blood feel even hotter as it coursed through her veins. "You're so beautiful," he said as she let out a long breath and smiled before his hands slowly came up to cup her breasts.

She shut her eyes at the sensation of his touch, wanting to focus all of her attention on the entirely new feeling of his hands gently caressing her, the friction of his callused skin on her nipples sending out waves of heat to other parts of her body.

Eyes still closed, she suddenly felt a moist heat at her nipple that caused her to gasp and open her eyes, discovering Han's mouth had descended against her. Her hands wound up into his hair, holding him close and willing him to remain.

She felt a sudden pang of regret that she had not done this sooner. All this time she could've felt like this under his touch, and yet she'd buried her feelings for him for reasons that at the moment she couldn't recall. She wasn't sure she'd ever felt so alive.

She'd been sitting back on her knees and she felt him pull her up, reaching one hand behind her to gently lower her on her back to the bed. She briefly wondered why she had been afraid before to give herself to someone like this, but she loved and trusted this man with every fiber of her being, and there was no doubt in her mind that this was what she wanted and that there was no reason to think he'd be anything but tender and loving.

His body lowered against hers once again, kissing her passionately for a few moments before his mouth once again blazed a heated trail down her body, slowly moving across her breasts and stomach. She was nearly writhing beneath him in desire, her skin tingling under his skilled touch. She felt no more nervousness as his fingers slipped under the waistband of her underwear, glancing up at her and silently asking for permission.

Without a word she arched her hips off the bed and allowed him to slip the material down off her legs, his fingers gently tickling her skin along the way, leaving her completely vulnerable and exposed. Sitting up once again he looked down at her, his arousal becoming even more evident in his eyes and through the straining material of his trousers. "So beautiful," he said before he pressed his warm body against hers once again, her legs opening to make room for him.

Her mouth moved frantically against his, suddenly feeling a rush of her own arousal at the sensation of her entire body touching him, even if he still remained partially clothed. Her thoughts became a jumbled mess once again the moment she felt his hand move down her body lower and lower, coming to rest between her legs.

Her hips rose upward, seeking his touch with a need she'd never known. Without any further encouragement, she felt his fingers find her most sensitive spot and she moaned into his mouth, unable to contain herself.

There was no question in her mind before that she loved him, but at that moment she craved everything about him and felt an intense want to be bonded with him forever. She longed to break down any barrier that had ever stood between them and show him how much she loved him and feel that love returned.

He remained on his knees above her, giving her the space she needed to reach down and boldly run her hands against the front of his trousers. It wasn't so long ago that he would never have believed this woman would reach out and touch him so willingly, and his hips moved against her and he let out a groan of his own, never ceasing the motions of his own fingers between her legs.

While he certainly had plenty of experience with this sort of thing - though maybe not so much in recent years - he wasn't sure he'd been this nervous since his own first time. Leia wasn't just any woman. He wanted this to be more than she ever expected it to be. He wanted to show her without a doubt that she had made the right decision, show her things she'd never known her body was capable of.

She pulled her lips from his and, nearly breathless, her hands reached down and began to undo his belt as he felt his own heart begin beating even faster in anticipation. He almost couldn't believe that the princess he'd known all this time was as eager for this as he was. "Han, please," she begged in just more than a whisper. The desperate look on her face as she said it brought a lump to his throat as he wondered how he was going to give her the experience he knew she deserved. But he couldn't wait any longer, either.

He rolled to his side next to her, quickly working to open his belt and undo his pants. Lifting his hips off the mattress, he slid the remainder of his clothing down his legs, leaving him as naked as she was and wondering if he'd ever been as aroused and transfixed by someone as he was now, watching Leia look at him and smile with her long, brown hair splayed out on the pillow above her head.

She didn't think it was possible to want him more than she had only a few moments ago, but just seeing him bared to her now, his body longing to be inside hers, made her feel her heart thundering in her chest at incredible speed. Just the anticipation of what was about to happen caused her breath to catch in her throat as his body slowly lowered to hers once again, leaving nothing but the feel of skin against skin.

His mouth found hers again, and she felt every part of him pressed up against her. She reached down between them, stroking him and needing to feel him completely. "Please, Han," she said again, her voice coming a little more ragged. She couldn't understand how she could want something so much that she had never even experienced before, but nothing seemed to surprise her anymore when it came to Han. And as close as they were now, it still didn't feel close enough.

His eyes sought hers once again, the hazel depths somehow appearing darker as he looked at her with love and desire. "Are you sure, Leia? I mean, do we need any, uh…"

He trailed off and she shook her head, her hand coming up to rest against his cheek, feeling the faintest hint of sweat. "No, it's okay. They gave us all… I mean, I can't…"

He smiled at her, understanding her meaning and she felt his hips slowly starting to move against her. His eyes didn't leave hers, and if she didn't know any better she'd say that he looked more nervous than she was. He shook his head at her, "I don't want to hurt you."

"I know you won't, Han. I need you."

He leaned down and for a few moments she was lost in his kiss before she felt his hand come between them, guiding himself to her entrance. She held her breath as she felt him touch her in the most intimate way, his eyes boring into hers and seeking her approval. He entered her only slightly at first, and then she felt him achingly slowly pushing into her. Her body stretched as he moved further; not really pain or pleasure but a sensation that was entirely foreign to her, though not unpleasant. Sex was not something she preoccupied herself thinking about before, though she did have urges just like any other woman her age. The realization that she was actually making love to Han gave her a sense of fulfillment that was indescribable.

His arms were bent under her shoulders, holding her close as he continued to push his hips forward slowly, touching places inside of her she didn't know existed. He slowly withdrew before pushing forward once again, a little bit deeper this time, and she felt him meeting a bit of resistance. As he pulled back and pushed again she gasped and shut her eyes, feeling him going a little bit deeper with each movement, until finally his hips met hers and they were fully joined.

Han found himself unable to move for a few moments, savoring the feeling of finally being inside her and needing to calm down a bit before he moved again. It was already so much more than he had imagined.. He looked into her beautiful brown eyes and whispered truthfully, "I've wanted this for so long, Leia."

Her hand came up to wipe the hair away from his forehead and her smile looked almost apologetic. "I have too, Han. I just spent too long trying to deny it. I'm so sorry I waited."

While he also would've enjoyed making love to her already many, many times since he'd known her, he wasn't sure if any other encounter could've meant as much as this, now that he wanted far more than just her body, needing to connect with her on another level he'd never known existed. He'd never known that it could be like this.

He shook his head at her, not wanting her to regret any of the decisions she'd made over the years, no matter how many cold, lonely nights they'd both spent without each other. "It's all right, Leia. We're here now. That's all I care about."

Her fingers clasped behind his neck and she brought his face to hers, kissing him with all of the love and passion she was feeling. His weight rested gently on her body and his hips were moving almost imperceptibly against her. It was as though nothing else had felt so right, and she wanted to be able to share this closeness with him forever.

His mouth moved in rhythm with his hips, slow and sensual. She felt the need to wrap her legs tightly around his body, crossing her ankles behind him as she felt him move deeper, filling her completely. The sensation seemed to trigger something in him as he pulled away from her mouth and sighed in contentment, his eyes squeezed shut as though he was trying to concentrate.

His movements ceased for a moment and his eyes opened to look at her. She thought briefly about how she hoped she could spend every night for the rest of her life as close to him as she was now. "You're incredible, Leia. I love you."

"I love you," she whispered back before she saw a look of determination cross his face and felt him slowly ease out of her, thrusting back in with a bit more force than previously, igniting a spark somewhere deep in her core like nothing she'd ever experienced. Each sway of his hips brought about more intensity, more need, and she clenched her legs more tightly around him, wrapping her arms around his back and pulling him close so that his entire body was pressed against hers, his face buried in her shoulder.

She felt his heated breath against her skin as he exhaled with every incredible thrust of his hips, driving her higher and higher. She'd spent more than a few nights fantasizing about what this moment with Han might be like, and none of them had come close to what she was feeling now. It wasn't just the physical sensations, but rather that she'd never felt so close to him, as though it was the joining of their souls.

She could feel his heart beating strongly against her own chest, his sharp breaths mirroring her own. Her fingers played with the now-sweaty hair at the back of his head, holding every part of him closely against her as his pace increased.

She found herself moaning now with each thrust, his own voice deeply rumbling in his chest as he surged on and caused the heat inside her to build, the hairs on his chest also creating a wonderful friction against her own smooth skin. His previously established rhythm suddenly seemed to disappear as he moved more uncontrollably against her, lost in his desire. She had to shut her eyes at the intensity and she clutched at him with any strength in her that remained.

She heard him say her name in a strained voice that somehow managed to tip her over the edge. The pressure built inside her as every muscle tensed, and she released a few final breaths before she was there, calling Han's name while her entire body shuddered beneath him and around him. She'd never felt anything like it on her own, the intensity nearly blinding and stealing her breath.

He gave a few last, strong thrusts before she felt his body shaking above her and pulsing within her, her name being gasped into her ear before he relaxed and rested on top of her. She unhooked her legs and released him from her grasp, but he remained close, one hand gently stroking the hair on top of her head before he whispered into her ear, "I love you."

Kissing his lobe and gently running her fingers through his hair, she replied, "I know, I love you."

He finally leaned back to look at her a bit apprehensively. "Are you all right, sweetheart?"

She had to fight from laughing. Was she all right? How could she be anything but? Reaching up and pressing her hands against his flushed cheeks, she replied, "Han, I don't think I've ever been better."

Smiling in relief and exhaling sharply, he leaned down and kissed her gently. "What about you?" she asked, suddenly remembering that while she had nothing to compare this to, there was every possibility that she did not live up to his expectations. He looked at her in confusion and she tried to clarify, "I mean, was I – "

His eyes widened at her question, wondering how she could've thought herself to be inadequate in any way. As he held her in his arms, his body still resting atop and within hers, it was as though the memories of anyone he had ever been with were completely obliterated. None of it mattered anymore as he only wanted this with her for the rest of his life.

She bit her lip as she nervously awaited his response and he brought his fingers up to slowly stroke her cheek. "Sweetheart, I know I may have a past. But that's all it is. And believe me when I tell you that what I just shared with you was so much better than anything and that I've never felt for anyone the way I feel about you. That was absolutely incredible." He'd certainly used lines on some people in the past, but he wasn't sure he'd ever been as honest in his life as he was with Leia.

The sincerity of his words left her incapable of responding verbally. She pulled his face down to kiss him again, her legs once again wrapping around his body and holding him close. After a few moments, he leaned back to speak, "Sweetheart, I hope this doesn't mean you want to try again right away, because I'm gonna need at least a few more minutes. It's been a while."

She smiled, "I just love being so close to you. I don't want to let you go."

Shaking his head, he replied, "You don't have to worry about letting me go. You're not gonna be able to get rid of me."

"I like the sound of that," she replied before kissing him once again.

A while later, when the exhaustion of the day's events and the evening's activities had overwhelmed the now-lovers, Leia lay safely within Han's embrace, their eyes closed and their breathing even as they both slowly drifted toward sleep. After so much turmoil and loss, it seemed unreal to her that she finally had something to look forward to and someone who she wanted to share her life with.

That same man who had argued with her and traded insults with her from the moment they'd met had turned out to be the only man in the universe who could show her that in spite of all she'd lost, there was still so much left to gain. She didn't know how she could ever thank him for that, but she decided just being there with him as she was now was a good start.

As she felt consciousness slipping away, she sighed contentedly in the knowledge that whatever the post-Rebellion future held for her, she'd face it with Han by her side. And that was all she needed.

* * *

><p><strong><em>All right, I did it! Or they did, anyway. I had been intimidated to write the infamous "first time" for years and years and thoght I'd never build up the courage to write it, let alone post it, but I finally just went for it. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you did, please tell me because everyone loves reviews! Thanks again to ShouldIGetOutandPush for helping me with this story and giving me the encouragement I needed to share it with the rest of you.<em>**


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